welcome to my life

2007-05-16T20:31:00.000+08:00

time for a change of placeee.

http://shotdrapedloose.livejournal.com

goodbye blogger.
you've been great therefore you'll be kept here, just stagnant. hah.

2007-05-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

sweet surrender

town with lilia.
how i wish we were not in school uniform, that would mean more trying on of clothes.
we were bored but somehow managed to entertain ourselves.
its funny how we laugh at the ghost stories she told, then somemore laughter when she trips a few times.

i swear my dad is being so..erh..nice.
stop lying to yourself chow.

oh yes, half our june hols are gone.
first two weeks of hols will be lessons in school instead.
rahh.
seriously, they talk about how o's the last stretch we have to chiong for,
but its so not true.
the moment we finish o's, we get to have a break and then we start studying all over again.
its the worst cycle ever, but thats the only way to survive in singapore, unfortunately.
maybe i should become a full time beggar since i've got no brains or anything.

great, my mum is being so damn nice too.
ya right.

i think i'm too tired to make any sense here.
stupid chinese intensive killed the pathetic number of brain cells i have.
go chow.

time for work.
BYE.

2007-05-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

yes. happy mamas' day.
know what, my mum bought the cake. -.-
yes, lousy daughter she has.
look below, we sat down at the basketball court and started eating.
4 of us digging in, 4 different ways of eating.

poor cake looked like shit. i was the fastest to eat, with my fingers!

i think i laughed too much just now. watched my 3 aunties play ball with my mum.

thats like 4 aunties all together. i think they'll make better rugby players.

alright. say hi to mr doocula. my small lil friend.

why dad, you make me feel useless.

hokay.
bye.

2007-05-13T15:56:00.000+08:00

Something about the way
You look tonight
Something about the way
That I can't take my eyes off you
Something about the way
Your lips invite
Maybe it's the way that
I get nervous when you're around
and I want you to be mine
And if you need a reason why

It's in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way that I want you tonight
It's in the way that you hold me
And the way that you know me
When I can't find the right words to say
You feel it in the way
Oh you feel it in the way

Something about how
You stay on my mind
Something about the way that
I whisper your name when I'm asleep
Oh girl
Maybe it's the look
You get in your eyes
Oh baby it's the way that
It makes me feel to
See you smile
And the reasons they may change
But what I'm feeling stays the same

I can't put my fingers on
Just what it is that
Makes me love you, you baby
So don't ask me to describe
I get all choked up inside
Just thinkin bout the way

It's in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way that I want you tonight
It's in the way that you hold me
And the way that you know me
When I can't find the right words to say
It's in the way that you move me
And the way that you tease me
The way
Feel it in the way
Something about the way you look tonight
There's nothing more to say than
I feel it in the way

i like songs that i will never get sick of even after hearing it one thousand times.

my dad is so ridiculous now.

but maybe, everything i do is just wrong.

2007-05-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

please don't mind my disgusting face over there.

just take a look at my dear friend who slim down so much that i almost couldn't recognise her.

anyhow, met up with juniors to ball for awhile.

played with one of our ex ex ex seniors, surprisingly she still remembers me. haha.

left for lunch at subway with sam. the rest pungseh-ed us for macs. -.-

MET JOAN CHEONG, like finally, after more than half a yr of not seeing her.

i miss her like shit.

you know whats so amazing, we spent the whole day together and talk as if we see each other everyday. no awkwardness or anything. love her to bits please.

she used to be my buddy but now she's lost so much weight and become so much prettier.

i seriously got freaked out because of how skinny she is now

went to tp gym with her and then to town.

we got so bored we started trying on clothes.

i feel so short beside her.

i bumped into so many people today.

its like meet the people session. haha.

lousy deb and stace couldn't make it to meet us.

lets see..i met tricia and the ex ex ex senior, i just can't remember her name. heh.

and then ms lim and ms yap. talked for awhile, quite weird. hah.

and ms dianne koh who shouted my name from nowhere.

plus some ex ij girls i saw.

and i think i saw meryl, but she couldn't recognise me.

got home and next went out like after 15 minutes. -.-

tired. visited my grandpa and went to j8.

my mum bought that fitness boxing shit, so fun. hahaha.

i miss some retarded who wants to rob the bank with me.

still, i think i am the happiest one alive.

alright. tired tired.

nights!

2007-05-10T16:40:00.000+08:00

all the fun, retardedness, joy, peace and laughter for the past few weeks, or perhaps, months.

my cutest birthday cakes and craziest friends..(i love the hangman shit. hangman became flowers and cloud. lilia!)

i think the only thing i'm missing now is time with the lovely basketballers.

if anyone notice it, i don't even have pictures of the basketballers here.

i think bonding time is needed please.

i'm missing all the ij basketballers.

2007-05-10T14:03:00.000+08:00

Ridin in the drop top with the top down
Saw you switchin lanes (girl)
Pull up to the red light lookin right
Come on let me get your name (girl)
Tell me where your from, what you do, what you like
Let me pick your brain (girl)
And tell me how they that got that pretty little face
On that pretty little frame (girl)

But let me show you round, let me take you out
Betcha we can have some fun (girl)
Cause we can it do fast fast slow
Which ever way you wanna run (girl)
But let me buy you drinks better yet rings
Do it how you want it done (girl)
And who woulda thought that you could be the one cause I...

I can't wait to fall in love with you
You can't wait to fall in love with me
This just can't be summer love you'll see
This just can't be summer love (L-O-V-E)

Come on and let me show you round, let me take you out
Betcha we can have some fun (girl)
Cause you could dress it up, you could dress it down
Any way you want it done (girl)
Or we can stay home talkin on the phone
Rappin till we see the sun (girl)
Do what I gotta do, just gotta show you
That I'm the one (girl)

Well I'ma freak ya right each and every night
I know how to do it insane (girl)
Cause I can make ya hot make ya stop
Make ya wanna say my name (girl)
Come on baby please cause I'm on my knees
Can't get you off my brain (girl)
But who woulda thought that you could be the one cause I..

Summer's over for the both of us (summer's over)
But that doesn't mean we should give up on us (don't give up)
You're the one that I've been thinkin' of (you're the one)
And I knew the day I met you you'd be the one

Let me set the mood right
Cause I'm gonna make you feel alright
Let me set the mood right
Cause I'm gonna make you feel alright

I gotta set the mood right
Let me make you feel alright
I'm gonna set the mood alright
I promise baby, feel alright

Just let me set the mood right
Let me make you feel alright
Cause I'm gonna set the mood right
Then you'll say my name time tonight

If I see the mood right
Promise girl you'll feel alright
If you let me set the mood right
I'll make you feel so good tonight

summer love/set the mood
hot song.

i'm a letdown of all times,

don't place your hopes too high.

i ought to be shot dead.

2007-05-09T19:03:00.000+08:00

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t want to run away, I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..
No promises

I don’t wanna run away, I don’t wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love

No promises
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,

No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.

Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight

nostalgic.

i can't believe i still need to wake up tml and crap my way through 2hrs of f&n,
even after passing up the letter to drop the subject.
its okay, i'll most probably sleep through atleast an hr.

made my way to nyp to play ball with guan and her friends.
felt weird being there at first.
it was raining and thank god it stopped.
balled in the weird weather and i think am having flu now.
its been long since i last played ball, totally lost touch with it.

went home and first thing was to sleep.
was so damn tired i couldnt be bothered to do anything.
got some moron to wake me up and i still feel like sleeping.
great, i feel like sleeping now too.

enough.
i should make my brother study.
if i can get him off the tv i'll get 20bucks.
great deal.

off to do business. 20buckksssss.
i need to rob a bank soon btw.
=/
hopefully my mum's not a liar. hah.

byeee.

what's your fantasy?

2007-05-08T15:06:00.000+08:00

like slow spinning redemption.

spiderman broke box office record.
its already the 8th and i haven't watch it yet.
actually, i'm lazy.
seriously, studying makes me lazy.
i can just study the whole day and do nothing else.
therefore you can see the perfect outcome of my room.
its worse than messy.

stace suggested tanning.
yes, i need to tan myself.
i'm like..white. yuck.
i need some outdoor activity before i die of obesity.
DON'T LAUGH.

okay.
i can hear my physics book calling.
byeeee.

i have to admit, i am nowhere near invincible.
but i think i can strum till these strings hang loose.

2007-05-08T00:24:00.000+08:00

Well, when you go

Don't ever think

I'll make you try to stay

And maybe when you get back

I'll be off to find another way

And after all this time that you still owe

You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know

So take your gloves and get out

Better get out

While you can

When you go

Would you even turn to say

"I don't love you

Like I did

Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading

So sick and tired of all the needless beating

But baby when they knock you

Down and out

It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe

Another dollar's just another blow

So fix your eyes and get up

Better get up

While you can

When you go

Would you even turn to say

"I don't love you

Like I did

Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go

Would you have the guts to say

"I don't love you

Like I loved you

Yesterday"

I don't love you

Like I loved you

Yesterday

i love this song. any kind soul would like to send me that song?

haha.

i swear people like lilia makes me feel stupid.

yes, i am a loser. ugh.

i can't wait to take physics paper.

then i'll know how screwed my science result is gonna be.

i mean, i will then know how screwed my whole mid year is gonna be.

okay. moving on..

i still think she is damn cute. haha.

enough. time to play games. nights!

2007-05-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

in places no one will find.

Mi amor I'm not sure of the right words to say
Maybe these simple words will do best to best explain
What I feel in my heart, what I feel more each day
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to see how to say
How I love you so
With words you understand
Words that get right through to your heart
Here's a place to start

Tu amor
I will always be
Tu amor
Means the world to me
Estarás siempre en mi corazón
You're the one in my soul
And I live for
Tu amor

Mi amor, love you more with each look in your eyes
Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe
What I feel in my heart, what I'll feel for all time oh
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to see how to say
How I need you so
With words you understand
Words that get right through to your soul
Words that let you know

Tu amor (tu amor)
I will always be
Tu amor (tu amor)
Means the world to me
Estarás siempre en mi corazón
You're the one in my soul
And I live for
Tu amor (tu amor)

You're the one I need in my arms
Believe me these words I say
Are words that come straight from my heart
How do I make you believe
Nothing else means as much
As what you mean to me

Tu eres la unica en mi alma
Yo te quiero
Te adoro
Tus labios
Tus ojos
Mi amor

rahh.

i got pissed waiting for stace to get ready to meet me.
i get piss really easy lately. god knows why.
she was late and yanpeng came to rescue me.
i saw mrs tan at fareast. i literally ran away upon seeing her.
she's like the last few people i expect to see there.

anyway, now i know why yp is broke all the time.
she spends money as if they drop from the sky.
the way she drags me into every shop and say everything is nice and expects me to get them..
i got so worried for my wallet.
but then again, i spent money in the weirdest way today.
retail therapy didn't work, strange.

met up with rach, jo, guan, grace with stace
was in town but went to amk and happily dragged them along with me
walked around and all.
i'm freaking tired.

nights.
=)

Do I really want this?
Sometimes I scare myself
I just can't let it go
Can you believe it
Everything happens for reasons
I just don't know

2007-05-04T20:31:00.000+08:00

take what's left of me.

got home and went straight to bed.
i know i suck, especially when my mum asked me to help her do housework but i kind of ignored it.
but it sucks even more when i just don't want to face anyone,
so the best was to sleep.
and now i'm home alone.
i'm not trying to say i'm any bit normal but i think the human head and heart has such queer reactions and thoughts.
i just feel like staying away from everyone and be in a world of my own,
since i suppose that is the safest place.
i've always been scared of people.
its as if i feel that they want something out of me,
expecting something from me,
i don't know what but perhaps its just being paranoid.
but i hate facing people and their childish games.

i think i sound like some i-think-the-world-suck-and-i-think-i-am-the-coolest asshole.

don't expect anything from me,
cause you'll realise there's nothing in me.

2007-05-03T21:46:00.000+08:00

everyone else but me

I said lets talk about it as she walked out on me and slammed the door
But I just laugh about it 'cause she's always playin' those games...
Deep down I know she loves me, but she got a funny way of showin' me how she cares
Last night she did a doughnut on my lawn
and drove off with one finger in the air

Sometimes it's black, sometimes it's white,
Sometimes she's wrong, sometimes I'm right,
Sometimes we talk about it and we figure it out,
but then she'll just change her mind
Sometimes she's hot, sometimes I'm cold
Sometimes my head wants to explode, but when I think about it,
I'm so in love with her
Every other time
every other time

Sometimes we sit around just the two of us on a park bench
Sometimes we swim around like two dolphins in the ocean of our hearts
But then I think about the time when we broke up before the prom
and you told everyone that I was gay...ok
Sometimes I walk around the town for hours just to settle down
but I take you back and you kick me down
'Cause that's the way uh-huh uh-huh I like it.

Keep it up homegirl don't you quit
You know the way you scream is the ultimate
And when I walk away just watch the clock
I bet I don't even get around the block
I said let's talk about it as she walked out on me and slammed the door
One day we'll laugh about it, 'cause we're always playin' those games

i miss this song.

stuyding has become the biggest part of my life already.
its sad, its only the mid years.

i just want to lie on my bed and do nothing,
together with blasting music.

i don't know how.

i hate playing games with myself.

2007-05-02T21:22:00.000+08:00

We watch the season pull up its own stakes,
And catch the last weekend of the last week,
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced.
Another sun soaked season fades away.

You have stolen my heart.
You have stolen my heart.

Invitation only grand farewells.
Crash the best one, of the best ones.
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight.

You have stolen my heart.
You have stolen my heart.

And from the bar room floor we are a celebration.
One good stretch before our hibernation.
Our dreams assured and we all will sleep well, sleep well.
Sleep well, sleep well, sleep well.

You have stolen,
You have stolen,
You have stolen my heart.

I watch you spin around in your highest heels.
You are the best one, of the best ones.
We all look like we feel.

You have stolen my,
You have stolen my,
You have stolen my heart.

i'm gonna sound a bit psycho now.
must be the migraine that comes on and off which scares me quite abit.

oh yes, just when everyone's studying for paper tml,
i was happily at tampines with a moron, just because of a dare.
the whole trip was just..retarded. haha.

i feel psychotic now.
its like when i shut my eyes, i can feel everything disappearing.
everything is so ~~not~~ real.

i think way too much.
just looking at that one thing, i can think of every single thing that can happen if i do this or do that.
what the fuck.
i know i will get nowhere.
but it is so not within me to decide how this whole storyline goes.
see, i can't.

its things like this that repeats and repeats that gets me really worn out,
but i can never stop it from happening.

i finally admit defeat.
i can never find something that is fair in this world.
alright, maybe God is just being unfair to me, most of the time.
i don't know, its always either this or that and i so hate deciding,
and i can never leave things alone. damn.

seriously, i wish i can type word for word, everything i feel inside right now,
but i can't, don't ask.
i think my whirlpool state of mind is driving me nuts.

time for some studying, hopefully.
bye.

watch my first pretence.

2007-05-01T13:46:00.000+08:00

You're a falling star
You're the getaway car
You're the line in the sand
When I go to far
You're the swimming pool
On an august day
And you're the perfect thing to say

And you play it coy but it's kinda cute
Oh when you smile at me you know exactly what you do
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true
Cause you can see it when I look at you

And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you
It's you
You make me sing
You're every line
You're every word
You're everything

You're a carousel
You're a wishing well
And you light me up
When you ring my bell
You're a mystery
You're from outer space
You're every minute of my every day

And I can't believe that I'm your man
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can
Whatever comes our way

We'll see it through
And you know that's what our love can do

And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you
It's you
You make me sing
You're every line
You're every word
You're everything

You're every song
And I sing along
Cause you're my everything
Yeah, yeah

i think michael buble looks funny.

anyhow,
a small break before i head on to spend time with my bio book.

lately, i've realised how it is such a bliss to be lying on my bed and doing nothing.
everytime i study, i see my bed next to me and its becoming a big distraction.
i hate cooping myself up in a room just to face those horrible books that doesnt make me any smarter.

oh yes. i was just reading stace's blog and its making my hair stand.
hello, i so wonder when i can ever post something nicer like hers. hahahahaha.

i feel like playing ball nooww.
think i lost touch with it already.
its been so long since we had training and i'm already growing fatter by the day.
i miss jiaolian. =/

enough. i think i should go back to my lovely bio books.
byeeee.

2007-04-30T20:31:00.000+08:00

rawrrs.
can't you tell, i'm so missing you.
i swear i am going crazy.

2007-04-30T20:11:00.000+08:00

the way that i want you tonight

i'm panadol dependant now.
never knew migraine was such a torture.
god knows what i was doing in school anyway after vomiting like 4 times in the morning.
i will die if it goes on till wednesday,
the ss and bio paper day.

i feel so weak please.
its hard to even walk from my room to the toilet. hah.
if only i can have the wheelchair just for a day.

can't wait to watch spiderman3.
the black spiderman looks cool.
4th of may!

alright. i seriously need to get back to SS (sanity killer)
bio makes so much more sense than SS in any other way.
funny how they want us to know how they prevented the rapidly growing population in the 1960s and then suddenly they want us to know how they had to stop the ageing population and encouraged people to give birth.
why we even need to know?
god, this whole subject is disgusting.
goodbye.

2007-04-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

i can be your favourite.

its been two weeks of not seeing those bunch of kids at bishan.
i'm missing them already, especially boyfriend daniel and boyfriend javen.
can't believe i don't need to wake up early on saturday mornings anymore.

oh yes. i seriously wonder if i am just getting old or i may have a tumor somewhere in my body.
a slight cough, sneeze or even laughing causes a weird pain in my back.
its not even any bit close to my chest.
someone tell me what it is cause i can't exactly laugh and cough properly now.
=/

on a brighter note, i am beginning to think studying makes me feel good.
well, besides doing f&n and trying to do maths cause they drive the sanity out of me.
i have no hope of passing maths at all. this is sad.

met chloe and bonnie at j8's mos while i was wondering around, waiting for alicia.
they're two mad people i tell you.
laughing at god knows what.

and i feel like eating doughnuts now.
get me one somebody. haha.

man i remember having something else to blog but thanks to stacey pestana, i lost my train of thoughts and ended up laughing at SOMETHING.
tsktsk.

i'm freaking tired and lazy now.
blah.
nights.

2007-04-26T21:15:00.000+08:00

i stay wrecked and jealous for this

i'm totally drained.
got home at 8 from tuition.
and i figured i've been gorging myself with food for the past three weeks,
no thanks to all the stress and whatever thats there and staying put.
maybe a few months down the road no one will be able to recognize me already.
hah.

i feel so lethargic.
note to self: you have to finish your f&n by today.
=/

oh yes, mike had a staring fight with this guy when we were at kfc.
weird cause the two guys next to us couldnt stop staring at us.
and we figured they might be gay.
i think if we were not in school uniform, mike would have punched him cause the way he stared was just so ridiculous.

screw me.

*bangs head on the wall*

goodnight.

2007-04-25T20:23:00.000+08:00

if i was invincible

if i could, i would drop you down from ten billion feet up in the sky and rip you apart.
you freak me out with your childishness.

lets move oooonnn.

morning sucked, all the way till now.
i think i should learn how to self entertain so i'll be happy.
first period was accounts and then double physics.
it was such a killer,
both lilia and i almost died trying to keep ourselves awake.
and mr chan makes me laugh like shit.
balled during recess and after school with two mad idiots.
even mrs siau could hear them shouting and screaming for the ball.

studied for two hours in the com lab with lilia and mike who left early.
i swear lilia was mad. she turned on the radio and started dancing.
i am so gonna show the world her videos. hilarious the way she shakes.

walked around and ate at yakun.
can't believe i still have the time to walk around when i leave half my homeworks undone.
blah. i'm gonna try to do something more productive now.
zai jian.

2007-04-24T23:43:00.000+08:00

i swear the worst thing to do is to try figure things out in your head and end up nowhere.

and the worst feeling is when you're so fucking tired but you can't sleep.

i'm the happiest kid, still.

2007-04-24T22:47:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERSY THE MORON! =)
i swear i love your name.

i'm not even in the mood to bother bout what all this is.
but i hate people who stare and talk just right behind me.
and the best part is, i don't even know you, well, beside names.
its so annoying.

its hell.

anyway, it doesnt matter anymore.
cause yes, its wrong.
everything was wrong from the beginning.
i'm not gonna say a word.

2007-04-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

i feel so traumatized today.
balled with the two SamS. haha.
played abc, somehow it ended up with if i win tai will kiss me.
i swear thats the sickest thing ever.
obviously i won (=D hahahhaa), and she really tried to kiss me.
i was literally rolling on the floor trying to get away from her.
imagine the teachers saw us from the staffroom, shits please.
i feel so traumatized. i have the sickest juniors.

left school and went around to look for some stuff.
i ended up being a retarded person walking around.
ask me and i'll tell you, even small little boys make fun of me.
and and! stacey pestana! she is another big huge idiot, she and her laughter + dropping of things as usual..
malu malu.
i had to cab home cause i can't imagine walking around looking stupid.
hah.

okay. mrs tan still doesnt allow my to drop f&n when i am already way behind time+beyond hope cause i doubt i can pass up on time.
this sucks. =/

on a brighter note, i had four days of break from f&n because i thought she allowed my to drop it.
seriously, the thought of not having f&n to bother is such a joy.

i'm going back to hell. f&n, here i come.
freak, the retardedness is still here.

cause maybe, just maybe, i shouldn't be here always.

2007-04-22T15:31:00.000+08:00

Don't, you don't have to save my life
No, you're not ready I can feel it
Outside its raining but I'll just go home
Someday your heart will just let him go

As soon as you get that feeling
You can start to live again
As soon as the worst is over
You can make it all make sense
Right now I can't give you want you need
As soon as you get that feeling...
Run to me

Hush, you don't have to say a word
Trust, I'm not going to hate you for it
Feels like my touch only brings back the pain
Someday those memories will fade away

How can I be brave enough to say goodbye
And die inside, without you oh oooo
Don't you see it's hard enough to walk away
To look at me and make me wrong
I've been through this to make me strong

As soon as you get that feeling...
Run to me

2007-04-22T13:15:00.000+08:00

firstly, i would like to thank everyone for their sweet birthday messages and hugs too. haha.
i have very bad memory, thus i can't name everyone out. sorry.

but anyway! i have to thank the juniors for the really erm, fattening box of present, all the chocolates and sweets inside, which i received early in the morning. and also the cards and all. =)
shits i really can't remember what happened. =/

lunch with mike, lilia, mel and emillynn. thanks for the great surprise. <33
my favourite oreocheesecake with funny waitresses and waiters singing me a birthday song. =)

next, big thank you to chersythemoron, michellethemonster, shermainethedumbo, karenthecarrot and jeanettethelizard for the presents and retarded company yesterday. =)

anyhow, i was quite upset when i thought i won't get to see the basketballers.
but some moron lured me out and i saw stace, deb, carin, lynnette, celine, anna, dawn and guan with a cake and presents for me. (and i thank mary for making her way down even though i didnt get to see her!)
i swear i hate them for doing that cause it makes me wanna cry. haha.
but then again, i love them oh-so-much.
thanks guys for making your way down. =))))

i have phobia of people singing birthday song for me, really. hah.

moving on! chomp chomp with stace, rach, deb, guan and liz!
twin couldnt make it but i saw her post on the bball blog. thanks twin. haha.
i swear i havent seen liz for god knows how long.
chocolate fondue after that and by then my stomach was so bloated i couldnt walk. lol.

i think i am the happiest person on earth because i have the greatest bunch of loveliest friends.
i'm already missing most of them now, AND I MISS MS JOAN CHEONG ALOT. where the hell are you? =/

oh yes, i got locked out of the house.
long story but yes. i had to sleep at the stairs outside my house till 6 plus in the morning.
i almost died of backache. haha.

okay. i'm feeling sleepy. haha.
i shall end off here. bye!

i'm too afraid to move.

2007-04-19T18:55:00.000+08:00

i swear i didnt tag anything on my own tagboard.
stupid MELISSA MIKE AND LILIA AMIRA.
i know both of you are dying to have your names up here,
but dont need to do such things, next time tell me can alredi.
hurrr.

despite sleeping early, i felt sleepy during english paper.
especially for summary where everyone had more than a hundred words while i only had 65.
comfirm fail already.
its chinese tomorrow and i should just shoot myself if i am gonna screw anything up.

i'm so bored, which i think i shouldnt be.
but i studied today so its alright i suppose.

can't wait for lesson with gay chan, he's hilarious.

blah. i am so bored i can sit and stone and do nothing.
okay, time for dinner then!
bye.

Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
Because it's cold outside cold outside it's cold out side
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because it's cold inside cold inside it's cold inside

And your slowly shaking finger tips
Show that your scared like me so
Lets pretend were alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don’t care

Tell me tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don’t tell me that I am the only one that’s vulnerable
Impossible

I was born to tell you I love you
Isn't that a song already
I get a B in originality
And it's true I cant go on without you
Your smile makes me see clear
If you could only see in the mirror what I see

Slow down girl you're not going any wear
Just wait around and see
Maybe I'm much more you never no what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything
Just because you were hurt doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bleed
I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need

Tell me tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don’t tell me that I am the only one that’s vulnerable
Impossible

<3

2007-04-18T19:59:00.000+08:00

i've figured that its no longer a matter of trust and honesty.
the best thing that keeps one surviving is how you lie your way through.
dig out the best lies and make up the best drama and you'll be on the winning streak.
no wonder i've been dying and losing.

i think the stress is causing me to be gorging food down my throat every now and then,
no matter how poor i may be.
there goes my diet plan, which actually died off a long long time ago.
i'm on the losing end, because everyone around me eat and eat but they never grow fat.
its okay, i'll still be human if i am fat. so who cares.

rah. back to f&n.
i rather stone and die than do that. =/

2007-04-17T21:20:00.000+08:00

today's the best tuesday ever.
was dreading pe because i was suppose to run 2.4.
not just that, i was dying no thanks to my flu+coughing nonstop+sorethroat.
thank god she didnt come for god knows what reason and make my pe more exciting playing basketball with those idiots.
ESPECIALLY MELISSAMIKE, who strangles people more than getting the ball.
i wanted to scream at her but no sound came out, stupid throat.

recess. lilia saved me with a drink.
i'm a poor but happy kid for the month.

slept through cme (yes, tjl for 2 periods) cause she didnt come in.
we didnt exactly had chinese lesson too (2 periods after cme).
that meant 4 periods of sleeping.
i slept so much i thought i was sleeping at home. haha.

tried studying but failed.
jacyip interupted me from studying my bio - sexual reproduction in human, which i don't remember anything at all and i think its gonna come out for mid years.

ben and jerry's after.
people get free cone, we bought cones instead cause we were impatient,
no, mike and jill were the impatient ones while jo and i are the poor kiddos.
i think tomorrow will be a fatter face day.
with all the food i've been eating, i think my face will be fatter than a basketball soon.
hahahaha.

i'm so laughing at my own jokes.
feel so dumb today. thought i lost my thumbdrive but found it on my desk.
and i kept tripping over people today.
people like mike who just loves to trip me.
bitch.
haha.

before i go off, let me make a wish..
I SO WISH THAT MY SEXY VOICE WILL GO AWAY.

2007-04-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

devils are so that there are angels.

yay. dearest guitar looks brand new after some changing of strings and cleaning.
i didnt do any of those. (duh. but i feel stupid.)

i'm feeling crappy, in a bad way.
like if you shoot me with something, i'll drop you a bomb.
not emo, just cranky and crappy and overly stressed.
my braincells are close to none to even think of proper words.

can't you feel it?
i've got the urge to drag someone on the floor, tie her up on the wall, whip her up and slash her with a knife, burn her into ashes so she'll disappear.
no, no one in particular. but i'm just feeling violent.

i can't believe i just wasted 15 minutes trying to blog rubbish when my f&n is undone.
when i was happily on the verge of telling mrs tan i was gonna drop f&n, she became a dinosaur and i got scared.
not funny at all.
f&n kills braincells + happiness

i want to sleep now.
but no,
back to killing braincells and depriving me of my sleep.
bye.

2007-04-15T23:01:00.000+08:00

for some reason, i want to lie on my bed and stay there forever.

its school tomorrow, once again.
i spend more time trying to keep myself awake than studying.

2007-04-15T22:47:00.000+08:00

i'll send you a letter with blood from my heart

bad.
i hate indecisive,
with a little bit of stubborness.

=/

2007-04-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

i want to see Mr Everything-Is-Fine.

even my throat is against me.
i know, my voice is sexy now,
but my throat hurts.

i'm holding on to what i think is safe.
no wonder i'm getting nowhere.

i know you're glad.

2007-04-14T01:01:00.001+08:00

i feel so defeated all of a sudden.
thanks alot.

2007-04-14T00:41:00.000+08:00

ij fiesta.
basketballers did haunted house.
i've got apologies to make.
firstly i think i wasnt any bit scary.
nevermind.
i felt so disgusted by myself because of the fake fangs i had, i drooled on people.
hahahaha. it was funny seeing their reactions though.

people running and banging into tables because they were scared.
hugging me when they realise they know who i am. -.-
ended up talking to people like mike and mich! haha.
got so pekcek cause they didnt want to crawl under the table.
GOT HIT RIGHT SMACK ON MY WHATEVER. HUR.
this few mad girls just ran and when i scared them they whacked me, damn hard please.
violent ij girls.

so most of us spent the whole ij fiesta time in the ava.
kinda regret not getting out to look around,
but not as if i can.

shit, i hate it when this happens.
if its so easy, i'll let you try it.
and if i'm still in this thoughts, i ought to die.

2007-04-11T01:01:00.001+08:00

oh no.

i'll rest in piece.

2007-04-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

keep me sober.

i fall asleep so easily, especially during bio.
i can sleep even when i sit up straight. -.-

anyhow, afternoon was alright.
mahjong with the elderly.
this time i was more of a "security guard".
watching them play and making sure they don't argue or whatsoever..
was observing others too.
i feel so sad luh. this old man is quite unwanted in his family.
watching them behave and all reminds me of how it seems like we're taking care of children.
some sits there and isolate themselves, one even carried a fake baby doll around and not knowing its a fake doll. throwing tantrum when people talk to them and touch them, some don't even want to look at you. =/
i just don't understand how some people think that their own parents are burdens.

next, cip. meet the mp session.
more like meet the people session because i didnt even get to see the mp.
all we had to do was to stand next to those people writing petitions and observe. -.-
even laoshi was falling asleep while waiting for us. haha.
but yea. i was SERIOUSLY listening to the people when they were talking about their problems.
i shan't say it out but i learnt quite abit from it.
makes me realise how we all take things for granted in every aspects of our life.
and how everyone's ego-ness in them takes charge and spoils everything.
i'm not speaking for everyone but myself here.
the sudden thought just came, that its funny how i can go to homes and all to help out.
but i've never really did much for the family.
i hardly think about my grandfather till we visit him.
i'm such an ungrateful brat.

this is such a lousy confession.
i've got a long list of sins to go.

night.

2007-04-09T23:52:00.000+08:00

i have the sudden urge to listen to backstreet boys. -.-

i thought having lilia as my sitting partner was crazy enough..
till dearest mike comes along and sit beside lilia.
i think i am now labelled as mad thanks to them.
i've done like one of the craziest things today.
nevermind. shan't elaborate.

english oral makes me feel like a fool who have speech problems.
fullstop.

my room is in a huge mess.
so dusty i'm itching more than usual.
haha.

its 4 periods with dearest tjl again tml.
i think i say that every week.
blah. who cares, she makes me hate tuesdays even more.
OH. going to the home opposite our school again tomorrow.
yay. and night time is the meet the mp session thing for cip.

okay. i'm suppose to be with my darling f&n now.
goodnight.

2007-04-08T23:13:00.000+08:00

for the first time i am lazy to blog about what happened.
read guan's and rachel's blog for more information.
and i was happy being late, for the first time too.
*stares at rachel*
i thought bout this incident all of a sudden.
conversation with rachel and joanna at starbucks..
rach :"chow your hair very long.'
me :"ya."
rach :"why you never get caught, the guys in my school the hair all cannot touch the collar."
me :"huh. but i'm in a girls school!"
rach :"oh ya i forgot."
it was funny for a moment.
strangle her please.
I officially dislike reading her blog.
makes my hair stand with all the lovey doveys.
okay, i'm jealous. haha.
and its even sadder when i think of me and rach going to daiso,
both trying to get something,
but i'm like..the sadder case.
hur! get what i mean!?
no.
and btw, shopping anywhere is addictive.
and and, i hate having cameras when i'm with those idiots,
cause we always embarrass ourselves.
haha.

anyway, i'm beginning to miss basketballers already.
man, i don't even wanna put the word EX basketballers.
i kept arguing with stace today. so weird. HER FAULT.
okay. i think we're all gonna see each other so much lesser. =/
but it was great seeing them today.

alright.

note to self: its time to leave this dream.
i knew i was a ~~goddamnfucking~~ wishful thinker.

i need to snap out of this
i might end up asking for too much.

sometimes the thought of it kills every bit of nothing i have left
and if this goes on, i'll end up killing myself.

and my fucking thumbdrive screw my life up the most.
(^%(&%#%)*

2007-04-08T01:25:00.000+08:00

Well, I'll wait till you listen
I won't say a word
to follow your instincts
just never worked for me
your silent but strong, (yeah, I'm playing that card)
and your noticing nothing again

Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
keep that in mind the way that it felt
when the most I could do was to just blame myself

(yeah, I'm playing that card)
when the most I could do was to just blame myself
and I know, you know, everything
I know you didn't mean it
I know you didn't mean it

I know, you know, everything (drop everything)
I know you didn't mean it (start it all over)
I know you didn't mean it (remember more then you'd like to forget)

So, we're talking forever
and you almost feel better
but, betters no excuse for tonight
you see, it's never bad enough
to just leave or give up
but, it's never good enough to feel right

Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
it will all catch up eventually
well, it caught up and honestly
the weight of my decisions
were impossible to hold
but they were never yours

they were never yours
Well I know, you know, everything
I know you didn't mean it
I know you didn't mean it

I know, you know, everything (drop everything)
I know you didn't mean it (start it all over)
I know you didn't meant it (remember more then you'd like to forget)

Drop everything, start it all over
remember more then you'd like to forget [x2]

Would you like to forget
would you like to forget
drop everything, start it all over
well drop everything, start it all over (would you like to forget?)
drop everything start it all over
start it all...

love 'em.

2007-04-07T01:06:00.000+08:00

i'm going through this for the first time
and its already taking its toll on me.
that so soon.

moving on..

it didnt really hit me that they could be so selfish, till today. not as if i am not, but i know my limits. its just so sad that its happening even as a family. i do observe and watch, and i'm sure i'm old enough to know what is right and wrong. its okay if i have to do that bit more to cover all your laziness, but its been so long. isn't it time to stop for awhile. i hate it when your just go on and on complaining about every fucking thing that you don't like, getting all fussy over the slightest things, if its so easy for your to say, maybe its time your help out more. its time she should sit down and be the one being served. so stop it.
i wish i had a little bit more courage to stop you bastard. i watched you do that over and over since i was young. she hoped and hoped that you'll wake your sense up and do something. she is still hoping. i wonder if you have any conscience at all. i've seen so many shit you've done. till now, you have a kid and you're still not any better. i hate the way you love your kid so much. you can't even fucking try to be nice to her yet you're doing this. get a fucking life dude. i think you should just die and burn in hell. you spend everyday of your life trying to cheat your own parent's money and sound as if its their fault. god. i dont even think you deserve anything good. so now you're running to her, escaping from some stupid creditors you have. man, i beg you not to ruin her life please. i dont care if they hack you up into one billion pieces, but if anything happens to her, i think you deserve a place in hell.

i hate my own guts.
if only i know how to say all these right smack in your fucking face.

that feels so much better.

i don't know what i did to deserve all of this,
i really don't know.
i tried right? i did.

i hate night times.
and i hate this horrible feeling i have every other time.

2007-04-06T16:24:00.000+08:00

spare me this once.

its not what you think it is
cause even i can't make up my mind.

2007-04-05T23:12:00.000+08:00

was suppose to be playing the mini basketball thing with my baby brother.
my brother and i ended up playing soccer with it, at home. -.-
but quite fun ah. haha.
i just ate like..2 huge pieces of chocolate cake,
which i think the fats and calories will be gone only if i go for 10 training sessions.
celebrated my dad's birthday which explains the cake.

i need gastric pills badly, its been on and off really often.
but i think my mum doesnt want to get it for me because she's afraid i'll be dependant on it.
i hate it.

you know, i feel like having tuition everyday now.
its scary when i counted the days left for mid years.
no, english oral. i hate it so bad please.
i can't believe i even bother to freak out now.

oh yes, i snapped my guitar string while i was tuning it.
when can anything stop breaking, tearing, dropping, spoiling cause of me?
ah freak. its just a string. =/

i hate what i've been constantly going through.
guilt, hurt, words, nothing.
just read between my lines.

2007-04-05T09:45:00.000+08:00

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life

I ripped out
His throat
And called you on the telephone
To take off
My disguise
Just in time to hear you cry when you...

You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
The night he died
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
One last time

Singin'..

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life
I don't know much at all
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight

There was
Police andFlashing lights
The rain came down so hard that night and the
Headlines read
"A lover died"
No tell-tale heart was left to find when you..

You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
The night he died
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
One last time

Singin'...

Tonight...

He dropped you off, I followed him home
Then I, I stood outside his bedroom window
Standing over him, he begged me not to do
What I knew I had to do cause I'm so in love with you

i like this song. hah.
f&n in school now.
i can't believe i am saying this but i am bored and hungry.
boo.
i want to watch blood and chocolate,
but no, i see midyr coming.
the class is so quiet now, weird.

2007-04-04T23:56:00.000+08:00

screw those homework and tests.
i'm tired and lazy, still.

i dreaded training today, see how bad it was?
i'm amazed by how jiaolian reads my mind so quickly and accurately.
you wouldn't wanna know how fucking horrible and terrible it feels today,
makes me want to leave everything alone.
no camps, no haunted house, no nothing.
if its all that your want it.
i'm so freaking tired.
look here, you guys are not the only one who needs to study.
and i've been trying to lighten all your work load by doing things myself.
so if i screwed it, i'm sorry.
see, i thought maybe someone might have the initiative.
nevermind.
its so hard to even get your together, that feeling sucks more than anything.
i'll just fucking get it done by myself.
you all can have all the fun in the world.

you wouldn't believe this.
God is giving me so much thinking to do,
that only boils down to one thing..its all about taking risks.

what am i to do
i don't know if i'm scared of losing,
or scared of not having.
its so scary to even think of it.

2007-04-03T21:13:00.000+08:00

She said, "I've gotta be honest
You're wasting your time if you're fishing round here"
And I said, "You must be mistaken
Cause I'm not fooling, this feeling is real"
She said, "You gotta be crazy
What do you take me for, some kind of easy mark?"
"No, you've got wits, you've got looks
You've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong"

All wrong
All wrong
But you got me

I'll be true, I'll be useful
I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours, my dear
And I'll belong to you
If you'll just let me through
This is easy, as lovers go
So don't complicate it by hesitating
And this is wonderful, as loving goes
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting

And I said, "I've gotta be honest
I've been waiting for you all my life
For so long I thought I was asylum-bound
But just seeing you makes me think twice
And being with you here makes me sane
I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side
You've got wits, you've got looks
You've got passion
But are you brave enough to leave with me tonight"

Tonight
Tonight
But you've got me

This is easy, as lovers go
So don't complicate it by hesitating
And this is wonderful, as loving goes
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting

i love dashboard confessionals.
okay, time for f&n. =/

2007-04-03T17:22:00.000+08:00

i'm officially defeated by the lazy monster.
i am so tired i can sleep while standing.
and i am so lazy i slept throughout chinese, in which we were suppose to be doing compo.
somehow i manage to leave class on time without finishing it.

was suppose to do my f&n in school.
but i decided to do something more meaningful.
followed the youth mission girls to the home opposite our school.
yupp. elderly. my first time there. i think i had a hard time trying to figure out what language they spoke and all.
but it was all good.
they're cute.
and guess what, i played mahjong with them, in school uniform somemore. haha.
i was the only one happily sitting there not moving my ass cause i was the only one who knew how to play mahjong.
almost died teaching ronghua.
man, i was scared at first. cause some of them were unhappy with each other and they can just start arguing out of nowhere.
i was happy i went for this. going there every week i think. haha.

i'm super tired i'm gonna take a nap first.
did i tell mention i slept at three am today?
blah. thank god for the drinks or i think i'll be awake till school starts.

the worst way to kill me.

2007-04-02T23:02:00.000+08:00

tired and drained, they're just coverups.
they are such an under statement.

if only those ~~"fuckyou"~~ make me happier.

i want to give school a miss.
its four periods with the most loveable tjl.

i can't quite figure.

2007-04-01T13:53:00.000+08:00

okay. now i'm starting to freak out cause i can't find the thumbdrive anywhere.
i'm so dead.

2007-04-01T13:27:00.000+08:00

i hate those "what if".

i think i lost my thumbdrive.
i feel calm, thats not right.
cause all my f&n stuff are inside.
shits.

i can't wait for tomorrow. lilia and my wonderful planS.
april's foolS. =D

let me waste some time with you.

2007-04-01T01:07:00.000+08:00

someone tell me if i'm plain crazy or what
i never thought i'll think this way.

my head and heart are splitting into a two way street.
amazing.

2007-04-01T00:08:00.000+08:00

saturday mornings are so much more meaningful seeing those kids.
and my first boyfriend finally came. yay.
i can't imagine not seeing them every saturday. =/
i hope the whole thing will continue when exams are over.
but then again, we can choose to learn gateball(howeveryouspellit) and teach the elderly.
yes, some people might be yucking away.
but it sounds pretty interesting.

i'm feeling very lazy.
nights. hahaha.

i need rationality.

2007-03-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

the only lesson i can remember is bio cause thats the only lesson i didnt feel sleepy.
mrs chu and her blurness makes me laugh.
well, the topic we're at now is sexual reproduction in humans.
and erm, yes, sex.
mrs chu told us something and..
melissa:"i'm never gonna have sex. its so scary. mrs chu, were you scared?"
hahahaha. get it? its really funny.
mrs chu went red.

and yes, proper training after like a week of not doing so.
i feel old and useless. i'm like..tired after running 1.6 km
and my stomach almost killed me. must be the stupid sit ups yesterday.

parents' night was boring.
went up to the hall to eat even before the talk started. hungry ah.
laoshi was so nice to ask me to eat.
my parents spoke to mrs chu and laoshi. same old things luh.
"her heart is not settled and focus to study..play too much basketball.." blah blah. =/
i hope my parents know that i do have many things to do with my current position.
i know what they've been thinking ever since i got the position as a captain.
nevermind. i don't want to make myself unhappy.
and yes, i grabbed some food again. was waiting for my mum outside the toilet and i was eating..
jo teo embarrassed the hell out of me.
"why are you eating outside the toilet!?"
eating so much was bad enough, eating outside the toilet was just..dumb. lol
thank god my parents were busy talking on the phone and all when val fam walked pass.
she seems to like the class abit more now. weirdo.

i'm exhausted and the thought of f&n kills.
nevermind. cip tml. yay. my boyfriend.

One..you're like a dream come true
Two..just wanna be with you
Three..girl its plain to see
That you're the only one for me
And four..repeat steps one through three
~~Five..make you fall in love with me~~
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I start back at one

i can't.

2007-03-29T20:27:00.000+08:00

oh yes. i think everyone should do the colour cube thing cause its so fucking true.
its like helping you to reflect on yourself and all. but its scary. hah.

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/
there you go.

finally, guan can view my blog!
i know you're happy guan.

anyway, its been mad-day-in-school recently.
i love sitting with lilia. boring lessons becomes laughing time.
from hangman to our speak-in-high-pitch-voice game..madness.

oh yea. i know this is so damn mean. but i was bored and going mad.
therefore pro me took pictures and video of val fam.
best quality ever. hahaha.
man, i can't upload anything at all, even my hangman paper that has our mad stuff inside.
=/

pft sucked. i think i am too fat. seriously, all my fats block me from stretching far. therefore i hate sit and reach. almost didn't get my gold cause of it. hur.

anyway, badminton after in the hall.
i got smacked in the face by the drinkstall uncle with his racket. i swear i never knew it can hurt like that.
i've got a stroke down my face and its ugly.
i look like a gangster with it. =/

shhoooottts. i havent touch my books yet.
erm, since sports day i think.
man. im dead. BYE.

2007-03-28T20:24:00.000+08:00

At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.

Of late, everything seems to be going so slowly - far slower than you anticipated - and this is causing you much anxiety and frustration. It would appear that there is little you can do about the series of events that now seem to be taking place. In spite of the fact that you feel like 'giving up' - don't. Take a deep breath and start over again and you will find that eventually the expression 'All's well that ends well' will have an extra special meaning for you.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

You are exhausted, over stressed and you refuse to give in. You are trying to minimise the tension by being physically active. It would seem that you are experiencing problems with an existing relationship and try as you might, you find it impossible to alter the situation because there is no co-operation. There is an urgent need for proper understanding which may only be accomplished by communication. At this time you feel that there is no 'give and take' on either side. This is resulting in constant depression. You are irritable and it could be said by your nearest and dearest that 'you are hard to live with'. You feel the urgent need to get away from it all - even it's only for a little while. You may be finding it difficult now to make firm decisions - you are restless and generally uptight.

Be it through unfulfilled emotional requirements, whatever the circumstances you are experiencing considerable stress, be it mental or physical. To your credit you are attempting to escape from this by endeavouring to create a semblance of peace and serenity by refusing to allow yourself to be involved. You have the strength to 'pull through' and all indications are that you will... perhaps sooner than you even believed possible.

i got this through stace. geee.

i'm too tired to say anything,
or maybe i just don't want to.

2007-03-27T19:46:00.001+08:00

i'm too tired to do anything,
just anything at all.

2007-03-27T18:52:00.000+08:00

when i try to do it right this time around.

you know what, forget it,
i'm so fucking annoyed with myself.
its the wrong thing at the wrong time.
i have a sudden urge to screw my o's and basically my life up.

nevermind. i think i just need a chill pill as usual.

2007-03-26T22:33:00.000+08:00

freak me out with that.

stupid rain dampened my mood to go cycling but i didn't abandon lilia and ratih in the end.
thank god i didnt cause it was fun.
from ratih having unglam pictures to her shouting for help (cause her bike was stuck) at the jetty and us taking pictures of sexy backssss. hah. i meant, this girl who was fishing in halter.
we were trying to entertain ourselves by taking weird pictures and we love our precious drinks from coffeebean. (it was our first for the yr and we were broke.) hah.

ratih was the joker for the day. everything funny happened to her.
man. i can't believe i had fun on a monday afternoon.

oh yea. not forgetting lilia and her supernatural stories!
i can't load the pictures. soon soon!

alright. its back to school time. yuck.

2007-03-26T09:12:00.000+08:00

i'm a hungry and lonely soul for now.
wait, i need somemore sleep too.

i can't believe its the last day of my self-proclaimed "holiday".

can you sense how bored i am?
cause i am really bored and no one's online.
=/

sheesh. why am i even awake so early when i don't do my elearning.
i am trying to the ss but the thing takes really long to load.
rahhhh.

there's school tml.
=/

2007-03-25T14:08:00.000+08:00

drown my will to fly

slept at two and i woke up at like one plus.
i am so bored i feel like sleeping again. hah.

tell me why im bored. i have some weird english essay to do but i have no intention of doing it.
my room's in a mess, i'm actually not done with anything.
from sports day till now, i've been playing and playing.
whatever, as long as i am happy.
the only thing that stresses me out is f&n.

anyway! i'm feel even happier thinking about cip and all.
okay, wait, i'm sad cause the cip (yes, teaching kids how to play basketball) on saturdays ends in april.
we might continue but then its not comfirm.
i'm so attached to the kids i really don't mind doing this for life.
ms shanti told us about all the cips we can do. sounds fun.
there are so many things coming up
like..ij fiesta, children's basketball league, camps..
=))

i think i should stop skiving now.
i'll erm, go tidy up my room. BYE.

2007-03-23T11:44:00.000+08:00

i think i could like you.

e-learning makes me learn nothing.
the sight of those words there makes me sleepy.
oh yes, go check out the physics slides, its pretty funny.
mr yap did it i think. i bet when he did it he was really trying to imagine he was talking to us on the spot or something.

i am so bored. those biology stuff can be found in the textbook please.

*chants* i am so bored i am so bored i am so bored i am so bored!

=/

i need entertainment 24/7.

2007-03-22T21:26:00.000+08:00

sports day was just full of walking around and drinking milo for me. haha.
i'm like some kiasu who drank 9 cups of milo.
went out with some crazy people and lilia after and walked around in town.
played hide and seek at heeren too. hah.

i'm lazy to continue.

wait, let me finish up with one more sentence..
it was a happy day besides the part where SOME ~~MOTHER FUCKING BITCH~~ POURED GLITTERS ON ME.

i know this is way too vulgar, but i hate glitters to the core cause i itch when they're on me.

okay. goodnight everyone.

2007-03-21T23:04:00.000+08:00

i think stress makes one go mad in the head.
yes, unfortunately, i am one of the victim here.
my stupid routined life is such a bore and chore, thank god for sports day and e-learning days which means relaxing time.
oh yes, thank god for my bunch of mad friends too, doing mad things with me,
and also lilia for trying to keep me awake in class.

its like a long weekend. yay.

i'm shutting myself from this world, just for a little while.
i seriously can say this, everybody hates me.
fuck.

2007-03-20T22:28:00.000+08:00

i am very bored. therefore its picture time.
mostly from saturday's cip and my baby brother.

kieran, he is really cute and quiet.

and he has a tail too. haha.

danial. =)) i tell you he is really handsome and good at basketball. BUT he didn't wanna let me take picture with him.

i forgot to rotate the pictures. anyway, thats his good friend dao an. hah.

oh yay. after playing ball with him, chasing after him and dragging him..he finally posed for me. he is my boyfriend(even though i proclaimed it myself).

i swear everyone wants to snatch him away please. alicia is one big idiot. haha.

andre! he is very very gong, really.

i think he loves his new bottle.

i think his hair is really funny. haha.

man. i love kids and they make me happy.

shit. time to snap back to reality.

2007-03-20T19:32:00.000+08:00

cross my heart, hope to die
i swear i won't say what happened that night
so starting today things are gonna be all right
your best you tried, and yeah you did fine
no better than fine, perfect in my mind
in fact, i wish your heart was mine
and i can hear the memory in my ears
back to the years and all those tears

i'm missing ij basketball b div 2006.
i miss everyone.
i miss training with them.
i miss playing ball with them during recess.
i miss seeing them in school.
i miss staying back till the school closes.
i miss sitting around to talk bout everything.
i miss our self-entertainment.
i miss our dinner together.
i miss taking retarded pictures.
i miss laughing till we get abs (not forgetting the layers of fats above it) haha!
so much more to miss..
i miss them so. =/

photographs.
i wonder why my heart still skips a beat faster

2007-03-19T12:59:00.000+08:00

girls can be the most cruel thing on earth.

in school now pretending to do f&n,
some queer feelings just overtook my brain.
i feel like moving to livejournal, but its so troublesome.
i need a new template now. (yes stace, i hope you are reading this. haha.)

what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.
deb gave me this (bet she forgot she did).
i'm not sure if anything is making me stronger,
there's ~~too much~~ to sort out.

seriously i don't know what i am going through but there is this ounce of madness inside which i can't comprehend.
something is bringing it to life and about to kill every bit of sanity i have.
i'm taking it slowly as it comes, but anything beyond my normal boring, routined life drives me to a corner.
i need life.
i need to know everything i want to know before it gets me.
and as i move, this strong feeling from nowhere brings me back to hesitation.

i'm back to nowhere.

do you know what i'm talking about?
i don't know if i do.

2007-03-17T01:00:00.000+08:00

i hate hospital visits now.
got rid of the infection thing in my eye.
it was plain sick.

went into the room with the doctor and a nurse inside.
the nurse, old but cute : "come little boy.."
doctor: "girl la!"
haha. both of them couldnt stop talking.
so..the doctor gave me a jab somewhere near the eye to numb it. i swear anything that pokes in there hurts.
the doctors's phone rang when she was bout to cut the thing. (thank god i didn't know what she was holding is a knife cause it was round? hah)
i think the jab made my eye close only cause i still felt the pain and blood oozing out and flowing down my face.
its sick and disgusting
i was half blinded for the rest of the day.
i was so close to tripping over everything.

ohwells. just took of the gauze thing and its like bloody,
and i can see the open cut.

okay. i'm tired. enough of all these sick stuff.
nights.

2007-03-16T01:25:00.000+08:00

god,i think i just read something i shouldn't even see.
something which i know i should ignore.
i give up, totally.

2007-03-16T00:08:00.000+08:00

lets have one last dance to our first song.

happy day.
my mum really brought us to east coast to cycle and she got sunburn.
don't even need to go sentosa to tan la.
gosh, someone will always get injured.
i'm like a jinx.
=/
to summarise today, it should be called happy playing day.
i love the arcade, i really do.

oh yes, there's biology test and accounts tomorrow, together with chinese oral (for erm, i don't know what).
i haven't touch my biology and chinese oral yet.
what's new.
i shall wake up early to study, yes i will.

blah. i have to make my way to ttsh tomorrow.
tan tock seng hospital! so troublesome.
yes, its for my eye.
lazy me dragged the whole thing till now since the doctor said it is not urgent.
i'm really lazy.
i'm not even prepared to let that bloody knife come near my eye.
if only it can make my puny eyes bigger, i'll let them do it on my both eye.
hah.

pooof.

2007-03-15T02:02:00.000+08:00

i'm tired but my eyes doesnt want to close.

2007-03-15T01:19:00.000+08:00

maybe i should hate you for this.

Two sides twist and then collide;
You're calling off the guards.
I'm coming through.
Adulteress conditioned to a spin cycled submission.
You know, sometimes it just feels better to give in.

And it's all too familiar,
And it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine,
Little pieces that avoid an awful crime,
But it's you I can't deny.
You I can't deny

Dull heat rises from the sheets.
I'm both a patient boy,
Well, and a jealous man.
But double standardized suspicion,
Is remedied, oh, my blue heaven,
Sometimes, it just feels better to give in.

We swing and we sway,
As this tiny voice in,
My head starts to sing,
"You're safe, child, you are safe."

Safe. Safe.
You are safe.
We swing and we sway,

Is this all too familiar?
Does it happen all the time?
I'm just asking you to hear me.
Could you please, just once, just hear me?
More than anything you wanted to be right.
Still it's you, you, it's you I can't deny.
You I can't deny
It's you I can't deny.

my mum is so cute. she's bringing us to cycle tomorrow. hah.

gosh. my swollen and un-move-able thumb annoys me.
i can't even do simple things like sms or pull my shorts up properly with it.
its not funny.

oh yes, i need tuition for almost everything.
okay, not everything. just maths. physics and geography, maybe accounts too. ugh.
i can't believe i just said i need tuition.
i hate them but for the sake of my beloved o's..
sigh.

i'm tired. goodnight.

2007-03-14T02:32:00.000+08:00

yay. new phone. no more phone without proper cover.
my brother and i officially look like twins now since i've got the same phone as him, yes, the same colour too.

i can't believe i am at home nowwww. =(
sigh.

i need to burn those letters and make those message disappear,
together with my happiest memories.
you're only the best i ever had.

its all just a cover-up, my perfect life.
snap me back and i'll be drowning in my tears.

2007-03-12T02:10:00.000+08:00

love, to fall out boy's a little less sixteen candles' video.
vampires! <33

the lack of sleep means more memory loss for me.
i totally forgot about this cip i was suppose to go on saturday night.
why can't i just forget the things i want to forget. ugh.

i'm in serious dilema/denial/self-deceiving/loss of sanity. i can't find the right words to describe but i suppose its a mixture of those.
did i mention it affects a huge part of me?
yes it does.
my useless brain can be such a killer.

Write me off, give up on me.
'Cause darling what did you expect?
I'm just off, a lost cause, a long shot, don't even take this bet.

2007-03-11T00:01:00.000+08:00

Just have a little patience I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration that any minute all the pain will stop
just hold me close inside your arms tonight don't be to hard on my emotions

Cause I need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing just try and have a little patience

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
the one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong believe me
I'm trying to move on
it's complicated but understand me

Cause I need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing just try and have little patience yeah
Have a little patience yeah

Cause the scars run so deep it's been hard but I have to believe
have a little patience
have a little patience

cause i
I just need time
My heart is numb has no feeling so while I'm still healing
just try and have a little patience have a little patience
my heart is numb has no feeling so while I'm still healing
just try and have a little patience

time time time time time. fucking time.

2007-03-10T17:28:00.000+08:00

cip is getting boring thanks to me.
but the kids are so adorableeeeeee.
especially my BOYRFRIEND.
stupid alicia is snatching him away from me.

had lunch and off to the arcade.
the stuff there are quite pathetic but enough to entertain me.
i have been going to the arcade as if its my third home.
anyway, i wanted to get take that's new album but i don't have a discman.
singapore's version (without lyrics) cost 7 bucks cheaper. ohwells.

walked to alicia's aunt's house.
i am gonna have nightmare tonight i swear.
her aunt's dog jumps on me and lick me all over..
looks damn sick. I AM SCARED OF DOGS LICKING ME i freaked out so badly. it left a mark on my arm. =/
and my shirt attracts the fur. for a moment i thought the dog was balding cause i was really covered with fur. hah.

okay, i am very tired.
napppp

2007-03-09T00:40:00.000+08:00

everyone thinks i got C6 when i say i got six for humans.
"c6 not bad what."
'its six out of hundred friend."
hur.

anyway, betina has such a adorable sister and a cousin.
primary one only please and they came to the toilet and i was alone..
i kept staring at them and myself in the mirror.
i'm like..twice their height and size.
she offered me biscuits. so cuteeee.
haha. i am so in love with kids.

okay. i'm offfff cause there's nothing to do. NIGHTS.

2007-03-08T23:57:00.000+08:00

polyclinic has low efficiency which makes people like me get so frustrated while waiting.

went to school only after recess (which means i skipped pe. yay)
i can't believe i am a basketballer who hates pe.
so anyway, got back report book.
i am so gonna find a geography teacher asap.
i got six out of hundred for my humanities.
NOT EVEN DOUBLE DIGIT (or SEVEN).
*bangs head on wall.*

my f&n course work is a screw up as well.
"stalked" mrs tan and mrs siau (the two very adorable bestfriends) all the way from school to the coffee shop.
ronghua and i followed them the moment they said :"eh don't follow us. we're going to gossip."
so cute.
so yes, i kind of got scolded for my f&n at the coffee shop.
f&n is a killer.

went back to school after heats at tp stadium.
played badminton and basketball.
and i feeel stupid. ask me and i'll tell you.

anyway, I AM SO BORED.

=/

2007-03-07T23:40:00.000+08:00

all i need is a car key to grab,
bring along my precious memories,
drive out for a spin,
and sleep with you in my dreams.

2007-03-07T21:46:00.000+08:00

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say, let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinkin'
Maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out, 'Heaven save me'
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say, let me say

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me,
For you and me
For you and me

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding on to what I think is safe

2007-03-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

its as if the whole world is pouring sorrows on me.

i don't want to live in denial anymore,
no more self-deceiving.

all that happiness means more sadness.
yea, i understand completely.

i'll take it as a numbing pill

i need a drink baby,
and i don't want school.

2007-03-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

val fam is crazy. i think she has some i-love-myself-so-much-you-should-listen-to-me disease.
she keeps on bragging and bragging about how she is a good teacher.
AND she was like..:"i ate alot of humble pie.." she is mad. if she is humble she wont say she is humble.
i had enough of her. she kept asking if we're ready to start studying.
she must be blind or deaf or whatever cause we haven't been talking back and we're trying to keep quite.
now i need geog tuition.

great. i just wasted one paragraph just to talk about her.

i'm so lazy to study or do anything else.
wan an.

2007-03-05T01:27:00.000+08:00

i'm disgusted by the huge piles of overdue work i have.
its hard to fight with my overly-strong-sense-of-procrastination.

despite the horror kids bring, i still love saturday cip.
the kids are..cute and..vulgar, okay, maybe smarter.
one went up to mary and said :"a fish ate a duck and became a fuck."
hahahahaha. its quite funny but it make sense.
and this boy was like :"omg the ball hit your baallllll."
damn cute. i love my new boyfriends. =D

anyway, made a trip down to outram and ended up at health zone just to do f&n.
dearest melissa was late.
health zone can be really scary when there's no one. we got shock by those fake models you see there.
stupid me got excited over those the games there : machines to test your strength etc. together with the mini playground.
therefore i missed the sign :"for kids below nine years old" and happily climbed up the ropes and stuff.
oh yes, the lady selling the tickets got so excited because i know her daughter. haha. she even offered to send us to a train station or something and she made me talk to her daughter over the phone. but she's damn poorthing luh, saturday afternoon and she's alone there selling tickets to err almost no one.

fifteen days of chinese new year is almost over. =/
that means no more blackjack or poker.
i should play poker for a living because i really make money playing that.
i suck a blackjack.

okay. im bored and dying to play games. nights.

2007-03-03T00:07:00.000+08:00

if she wants to stay for awhile

my long awaited weekend is here.
the week started out real bad with f&n and some other homework piling up on me
i need to catch up with my sleep and studies.

okay. i think the tiredness was acting up just now.
had dinner with my cousin and aunty,
i was making jokes out of everything,
and erh, laughing at my own jokes loudly.
i think i can still laugh at anything now.
shhhhhiiiiiitttt. i need to sleeep but i've got so much work to do (but i am lazy to do it).

anyway, before i go, let me tell you how much i detest milo now.
dear mike spilled the milo on us while she was trying to disturb me and i was trying to move away or something.
my legs had a taste of how milo taste like. lol.
embarrassing okay.
hurrr.

enough. i shall try to sleep and stop laughing at nothing.
night!

2007-03-01T00:16:00.000+08:00

i can't sleep.

don't leave me alone at night
i don't wanna go insane.

2007-02-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

my lust for blood.

i'm watching them fall the same way i did, well, almost.
i should be stronger than this.

i studied physics, did maths and accounts, all in 1 and a half hours.
i know i know, its just an hour and a half..atleast i am studying after ten million years.
never knew that studying makes me feel good.

thank god my com recovered from the going-to-crash symptoms.
i bet someone cursed me or something.
last night the com was so slow i had to take 5 minutes to open a folder!?
i almost cried doing f&n i tell you. NEVER take f&n because it makes you depressed.
i want to drop it but no, i am not allowed to. =/

i am feeling really sleepy now.
i've got so much to study and finish that i've been staying up late,
making me so exhausted i feel sleepy at 9pm,
falling asleep in class and scribbling on papers.
i need like 10 ten days of sleep to save me.

sigh. i am going off now. goodnight.

withdrawals of you.

2007-02-27T18:14:00.000+08:00

my failed attempt to do f&n and nothing else brings me here.

the screw in my head is becoming looser.
i've been stuck at home, or rather in my room for 3 hrs without opening the window or door and no music at all.
perhaps that explains why i feel suffocated.

i am gonna be dead.
i'm not anywhere near completing my f&n.
DEADline tml.
die chow.

and i think i need more sleep.
falling asleep during physics+chinese tests = scribbles and random lines on my paper+sentences that doesnt make sense.

i need some special candy here.

2007-02-26T22:41:00.000+08:00

so does that mean i deserve this?

wow, the world is so fair.

i am so tired and lazy i can't drag myself to get a new bag and new pair of school shoes,
which i really need now.
i am such a pig.
btw, i am pms-ing everyday. hah.

anyway, mr yap was OH-SO-NICE today. -.-
i sat infront nicely, paying attention to him.
and when he ask questions i'll answer..
but guess what was his reaction!
"shhhhhh"
god. i wanted to slap him.
and val fam just pisses me off.

okay. i am not pms-ing.
i'm just in a bad mood everyday.
shithead.

2007-02-25T12:02:00.000+08:00

romeo without juliet.

famous last word is stuck in my head.
i'm so lazy to post the lyrics.

i am really procrastinating too much.
was suppose to study yesterday after cip but i was found strolling in town.
anyway! i am loving cip alot more with more kids and that i wont be stuck at home sleeping away in a saturday morning.
its such an accomplishment to complete a lesson. heh.
now we've got a bigger task on hand.
i think we're suppose to organise a "carnival" thing for the kids where there will be basketball matches amongst different community centres.
so fun please. the kids are really adroable = chow having more boyfriend.
hahahaha.

i was changing my baby brother's diaper and he happily roll on the bed.
he is so adorable.

random pictures during cny..

see, told you he is adorable.

i should be doing my f&n now.
i regret not taking art.
hahah.

2007-02-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

blooded graffiti on my arm.

i totally slumbered into a sleep-anywhere state.
thank god for the coffee i had in the morning, i manage to pull through all the lessons.
i wish i had a robot following me around, i need one, to help me remember things.
i forgot my shoes for training, thermometer and forgot to try printing my f&n stuff
hurr.

training.
tried to throw javelin after.
i should stop embarrassing myself.

i am very disappointed, with almost all of you.
and why the hell should i care if you don't
don't make me give up on you so soon, really. don't.

this is tiring me out
i don't even know what i'm gaining from this.
i just don't want to make jiaolian upset.

2007-02-22T23:23:00.000+08:00

i'm back from i don't know where.

major frustration thanks to the printer that isn't even moving
i kept clicking on print but it just won't print.
how now brown cow?
the worst is that i haven't complete much of the work i am suppose to finish.
this is annoying me.

annoyed + annoying = explosion.

~~bomb!~~

okay. i am going crazy just waiting for the printer to work.

2007-02-22T17:44:00.000+08:00

i am suffering from ams
go figure it (from pms)
its not funny at all.

where's your heart

2007-02-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

bonkas baby!

i hate to face it but i am still dreaming,
i can't wake up from this.

can i put myself right beside you?

2007-02-20T21:41:00.000+08:00

Here standing in the rain
The sun has gone again and nothing's gonna change
Time, I need a little time as you slip out of sight
And nothing heals the pain.

And I know that it's you that's stopping me from falling
Crashing down, losing ground til I see you again
And you know...

The sun will shine, and we will see there's nothing standing in our way
Love will stand and never break
Never thought this could be me
Do you feel what I feel?
Everytime that you are near it's a beautiful world
A beautiful world

Words are hard to keep inside
Even though I've tried, impossible to hide.

And you know that it's me that's stopping you from falling
Crushing down, losing ground til I see you again
And you know...

I'll be the stars guiding you
I'll be the place that you hide
I'd run a thousand miles, a thousand miles to be by your side

i love this.

chinese new year.

it was slightly different. seriously it was a major torture for me on the first day of new year.
yes, i had to wear a skirt. it wasnt so bad cause that was not the worst part. the worst part was looking like an idiot with identity crisis or you call it bisexual all purely because i couldnt walk properly.
but then again, i saved myself the embarrassment of being "criticised" for not looking like a girl by relatives. i think i had extra kaching in my angbao cause i wore a skirt. haha!
i became an idiot and wore my aunt's heels to get more angbao. well, embarrassing but i had them entertained because i couldnt walk properly still.
had a mini photo-taking session. lol.

second day meant mahjong-ing till midnight.
we, kids, slept over at our grandma's place.
slept at 3 plus on the sofa, i felt like i didnt sleep at all.
damn. to think i wanted to catch up with my sleep during cny.
woke up at 10 plus and this relative (i dont remember her as any of my relative. but yes..) came over thinking that i am a guy. it was so embarrassing because she knows my mum. thank god my mum wasnt there. BUT my grandma was there. sheesh. =/

alright. so i invited people to my house. i'm so sorry for the lousy hospitality.
i wasn't in the mood to do anything, brain-dead. oops.

sigh. i am really not in the mood. i just want to count my angbao money, in hopes of not needing to rob a bank anymore.
its school tml. nights. =/

2007-02-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

its amazing how you left this soul defenceless.

i had a really long day.
i think i only have 0.000001% of energy left,
therefore everything shall be in point form..
btw, if you ever want to seek attention, just go out with melissa mike and lilia.
they make so much noise and all that you'll have all the attention in the world.
they are mad people.

1-firstly, cny celebration in school. i finally contributed to my house (red) and did some cat walk, WITH TJL and this other girl.
2-it was embarrassing enough to walk in front of the whole school, i had tjl with me which made it worse and we were in chinese traditional costume. i almost died of embarrassment. she had to hook onto my hand btw.
3-i had a moustache drawn thanks to me laughing at tjl's make-up.
4-i realise i didnt know red house cheer. =x
5-outing with the two melissas, lilia and chelsia.
6-mel ng had to leave right after they accompanied me to j8 to get something.
7-never knew it was so depressing to get something i dont like.
8-bus to fareast, long john was horrible. but fun to laugh at people who laugh loudly. self entertainment.
9-everyone was so un-hyper. =/
10-walked around and headed to wisma
11-chelsia sprayed some weird perfume into my mouth and i almost died of headache and poison.
12-met many people along the way.
13-headed to cuppage to pool.
14-then to some small cafe place near cuppage.
15-shop owner kept talking to us as though he wanted to hook us up.
16-no, he wanted our numbers, which i think i am pretty safe because he would most probably be more interested in the three of them than me. he gave us his number instead.
17-wanted beer and he sold to us. my head was about to explode after the drink.
18-i stupidly told him which school we were from (which i forgot, he might call the school and tell on us drinking)
19-my name became chowlin just incase he really report to the school.
20-he wants to teach us how to play pool.
21-headed to ps, arcade.
22-tried on some really weird clothes but i fell in love with it.
23-went to tcc and realise we were broke, super.
24-we still ordered. chelsia and lilia couldnt find the atm machine.
25-i went with chelsia instead.
26-lied to lilia and mike that there was no money in her account.
27-they freaked out so badly you should have seen their faces.
28-i think i can go join mediacorp for my acting skills. =)
29-literally rushed to take train.
30-i stupidly pressed on "farrerpark" and bought ticket to go there. (and by then we were really broke)
31-manage to dig out coins. i stupidly brought them to the wrong train.
32-finally got into the right train.

thank god.

i am so tired now i am seeing stars.

nights.

2007-02-15T23:09:00.000+08:00

this idiot make me wanna cry. thanks anyway. you takecare of your knee first ah.
LOVE <3333

i am super mean nowadays.
with people like jac and mike to disturb, i can never stop making fun of them.
YOU KNOW I AM JUST JOKING, and well, making your laugh. haha.

somebody slap me.

its a damn cold night

2007-02-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

you're the one i need tonight, just tonight please?

i wanted to post a song or something. i'm bored out of my wits.
no, actually, i'm thinking so much inside i m clueless which songs suits my current feeling the most.

seriously, i don't think i am that selfish that i deserve these.

i bet you're laughing hard at me.

2007-02-14T18:37:00.000+08:00

self-destruction.

sad sad
~~valentine's~~^day.

i was just gorging myself with those wonderfully tastey chocolates,
and i swear, they never tasted so bad.

after student leader's investiture, almost everyone was with their parents.
=/
that made things worse.
and i had tjl half-hugging me telling me how mrs mats said i resemble her because all bballers look alike..and how i should keep it up (since i might become like tjl) -.-
shruggs.

alright. off to visit my baby brother and get my brother a phone.
hopefully he cant find what he wants, and the $200 voucher will go to me.
*grins.*

my brilliant plan..
give me a knife, i'll cut myself into pieces
give me a gun, i'll shoot myself down
give me alcohol, i'll drink myself dead
give me broken glasses, i'll slit my veins open
give me water, i'll drown myself forever
give me a mountain, i'll jump down from there
give me air, i'll choke myself dead.

2007-02-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

waste some time with you.

i am literally sleeping everywhere i go.
tired until i fall asleep without knowing,
and falling asleep anyway as long as you leave me with nothing to do for a minute.
this is bad.
i am procrastinating alot.
my homework is in a mess, okay, maybe i didnt even touch them.

i need a new bag, the old one has a huge hole. =/
i am really a shithead.
my mum wanted to buy a bag for me but err, i was fussy and didn't choose anything in the end.
*bangshead*

~~i am so pekcek.~~
I AM SO PEKCEK.
what have i done to myself?

i'm gonna do my long overdued accounts which i predict, is going to drive me even madder.
bye.

2007-02-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

i'll admit defeat if you tell me i'm not good enough.

i am feeling drowsy.
my head feels as if it weighs a thousand tons.
anyway, go read deb's blog about the part i offered tissue.
i swear if i was the one shooting three free-throws that determines the team's fate, i will die on the spot. haha.

anyway, I LOVE JIAOLIAN x 1000000000000000000!
i feel bad, really.
had a small talk after match and she said she is happy with us?
me and deb's first reaction was to stare at each other and we started laughing.
i think cause we knew what each other was thinking.
jiaolian is too nice please. i mean, if she scolded us maybe i might feel better.
ohwells. she even treated us to swensens after that.
i'm lazy to elaborate BUT she said something that makes me wanna cry pls..
"are your coming back for training? i feel lost without your around."
and "i love you all too."
=((((

stupid juniors, whoever you are, IF YOU EVER BULLY JIAOLIAN YOU WILL BE DEAD.
man, i wish you juniors will snap out of your childishness.
anyway, i will still be here to do my job as the evil one who shouts more than anyone else.

okay. my head feels really heavy.
i've got a whole chuck of things to say though but nevermind.
i think this week is gonna suck because its a monday and i can stand and sleep already.

2007-02-10T21:24:00.000+08:00

i think grace, shalom, guan and i are all deprived of toys.
seriously, if you were at toyRus with us, you might think we're mad.
i want toys now. =/

its haunting me.

2007-02-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

you're just so pretty in your pain

i lost count of the days i am totally exhausted.
for the past few days, i haven't been studying or doing any of my homework at all.
this is bad. i see piles and piles of homework waiting for me to finish them.
i can't concentrate, procrastination is strangling me.
oh and i haven't been listening in class. okay, i look like i'm listening cause i can't stop drawing and drawing which makes me look like i'm taking down notes.

alright, i guess nothing much happened, but i've become evanesence and lifehouse's fan of some sort.

o levels results were out.
people around me crying, jumping for joy, feeling helpless..
i don't know how i will be and that scares me.

today,
i disappointed someone who taught me so many things.
it kept going in,
but still, we lost it all.

and i don't know why i joined the 3 on 3 competition.
in fact, i don't feel like going at all.

i think its time to catch up with my sleep, my eyes' been getting worse lately.
before that..

Under your spell again
I can't say no to you
crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly
now I can't let go of this dream
I can't breathe but I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough for you

Drink up sweet decadence
I can't say no to you
and I've completely lost myself and I don't mind
I can't say no to you

Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely
now I can't let go of this dream
can't believe that I feel

Good enough
I feel good enough
its been such a long time coming, but I feel good

and I'm still waiting for the rain to fall
pour real life down on me
cause I can't hold on to anything this good
enough
am I good enough
for you to love me too?

so take care what you ask of me
cause I can't say no